here's to you, broken souls...

wow i just discovered so much cobweb in my blog when logging in after an eternity. anyways today i feel hurt. so i might just share a bit of sad stories to u guys. hmm....this sem has been very exponential...exponentially demotivating though. remember this saying about, rely on ur parents when ur home, rely on ur frens when ur out. so since im out of the house most of the time, yea, my frens are basically my pillar of strength. well, u c, i have been one lucky son of a bitch who has a pretty decent amount of friends all around me. entering this university has opened my mind to new people, new perceptions in life. my frens have been good to me all this while. but this sem has turned the whole mirage into the real reality. i started doubting myself, am i doing the right thing? pretending to agree with my 'frens' just in order to fit in? is hurting each other by the name of 'just kidding' or 'joking' a way of enhancing relationship? so it happened to me at last. i realized now that i have been pretending all along. i smile, nod and laugh when they mock or taunt me, when the emotions are actually stirring and boiling down in my guts..u have no idea how bad it is to feel when ur being demined or called names at. i used to think that the saying that east malaysians are arrogant is just a myth. but now when i do careful observation on this matter, i find it surfacing though. well of course not EVERY east malaysians are like that! hell no! that would be one messed up case of stereotype. the thing is, i like my fren, in fact i respect them. but when they turn on u when ur trying to be serious or when ur not rily in ur mood to be playful, god, u feel like ripping their tongue out, n then saying, "what did you say just now?" huh..there was i once i boldly confronted them by politely commenting on the way they speak. but u noe wat guys? its never good to confront a pack of mealy-mouthed group of testosterone. yea, i was yelled back at, although i just kept silent, since my message was sent. wheter or not they wanna change, its up to them. then the next day, things were like nothing happened. hey im not bitching about it k..just feel kind of, u noe, isolated...like how sabah n sarawak r isolated from the main land.

chinese new year...it's okay..

this year's chinese new year..hmm...how do i put it? well when ur stil a kid, u'll just feel it when something big is coming ryte? for example; christmas makes u hopeful of gifts, birthday makes you a totally happier person and chinese new year makes u rich...technically. ok now that was when ur stil a kid. news flash! boom!!! ur now an adult. it saddens u doesn't it? now instead of receiving presents, u have to give them away to younger ones, ur younger brother if ur stil not a parent, that is. and if ur still a teenager, chinese new year no longer gives u d joy n happiness it once did. it's routine. as u grow up, so does d pressure that envelops u. even reunion dinner sounds typical to u..yea, reunion dinner. speaking about that, we had d greatest meal ever that nite. it was d eve of cny 2010 when i reached home from d airport. d first thing that stared into my eyes were those lovely little hakka style 'stuffed tofu' pronounced 'ngiong tiu fu' in hakka. that moment i was astounded coz the last time i ate those, it was last friggin year!!! n ur wrong if u think that it tastes like any other stuffed tofu that u use to eat outside, coz firstly it's hakka style, no one does better than that(it's a fact)..n second, my mom made it(tat's a fact too). lol..so anyway circling d plate of stuffed tofu are dishes like steamed chicken, fried duck, pork and yam, n..n....n....ok i'll stop wf the food. that nite was a new record in my family. i was the last guy to leave the table, most probably i've been too food-deprived in uni. fuck. shouldn't i be ashamed of declaring this publicly? ok now i'm officially quitting the food talk. now let's enter the next agenda. it's ang pau giving time!!! so wat do u noe...we have this short chinese phrase that we usually have to say to get the ang pau. they're called 'dui lian' n fuck, again, i suck in chinese words. yea laugh all u wan asshole. but guess wat..i improvised..shamefully i looked up my handphone for the 'dui lian's that i've been saving when i was inside d aircraft. fuck yea i know, i rock. hahahaha....nyway i've got my loot. next day we went viziting...wat did u say? typing error? no...i meant it. viziting becoz there were just too much visits done. thats why i replace s wf z to make it sound everlasting. zzzzzzzzz....u c? lol.. shit i hate typing. it's time consuming n i'm a lousy typer. let's just sum it up. my chinese new year has just been as sweet as pork floss n as salty as chicken floss. fourth day of cny, im bec in utp. n it's a whole new sem of crappy food to eat again. end of story.

never say no, n never say never

i like this phrase..in fact, i love it..imagine all the possibilties of saying yes to things that u've never tried b4. tat happened to me just now. i was forced to make an early booking of d chinese new year bus ticket to kl, since all d ktm tickets have been sold out. it was around 4pm when i received a call from branson about the sold out tickets..the only alternative left for me is to purchase bus tickets for that day. guess wat, d nearest station is in taman maju. with the clock hand striking 4.15, the only thing i can think about is to run to taman maju as fast as i can..wait, lets rewind. why din i think of asking someone to fetch me there? well, simple..first, i try to be the least troublemaking soul on earth. second, i like being independent, n third, its an exercise! so why not?! wfout hestitating much, i tightened my shoelace n bolt out of my room, running as absurdly fast as i can to taman maju...
but hell, i forgot i'm in peninsular malaysia, moreover in ipoh, the hottest state in peninsular malaysia! around 4.30 the sun is stil as spicy as chili paste(maybe tat's why i have darker skin among my chinese peers..lol)
'fuck yeah'..tat came thru my mind as soon as i hit the sun. 'i'm hotter than u.' i said tat out. then i ran. big lorries n petronas tankers zoomed past me, taking more space than they shuld on the pedestrian sidewalk. i turned around n shoved my middle finger onto the air towards the truck while running.
surprisingly i reached there by around 4.45. tat means i reached taman maju from my room in just around 30 mins...on foot!!! lol..so yeah...spent some time wondering around there after buying 3 tickets..n finally decided to walk bec to utp around 5..
by the time i reached my room, it was 6.15 n i laughed to myself..a funny idea earned me a seat bec home during chinese new year.

wat's a blog?

seriously, wats a blog? if u ask me wats a blog then i think a silly smile is wat im gonna give u..lol..but hey wat the hell is it? ppl claim tat its addictive...examples r like u nid a lot of time to water it...to make sure it stays put...coz it only grows when ppl read ur blog n leave comments on it, regardless of gud or bad ones..well here i am a curious man exploring the online world n to put the myth or facts of blogging to the fucking test. oopss did i say tat f-word? sorry for the rude blurp of word...just in case u dunno, i curse a lot, i rily do..i have no idea why they(cursings) keep conjuring up in my mind. n for no fuckin reason, well this myte sound weird, n insane, or crazy, if tat's how u wanna label me, it feels good to curse..wait, it feels GREAT to curse! lol....im not trying to mean any harm to anybody of coz. but i guess 2 much movies corrupted my decency. but hey, if u think that cursing is bad, then think again.....according to an article that i read before, titled "fuck it", saying the word "fuck it" or any other words related to curses, to anything that u hate or dun feel gud about, INCREASES ur life span for about 20%...i know this sounds stupid but if u wanna blame me then hold, walk to the nearest book store, check for the author, n the privilege on how u wanna handle her is urs..oh shit, i forgot to introduce myself. haha..i'm alex, from the land below the wind..yea, sabah..wait i shuld say SABAH!!!!!! BOLEH BHA KALO KO!!!!!! hehe....im not a state-cist, nor a racist. im a peace-loving 'samaritan' who loves where he hails from. who doesn't anyway ryte? currently studying in the university of technology PETRONAS n has about 3 n a half years to complete my journey as a student. so its nice to meet u guys n girls. le'Heim...anyway tonight is my first attempt at blogging...so peace y'all. leave comments if u feel so..regardless of bad ones or gud ones..i'm an open-minded guy.
*winks